The Rimmer Family - Week One

I couldn't believe how small the place was when we finally arrived. Having spent my growing up years in a large city, this place was little more than a hamlet. 'One horse town' was being too generous, I doubt this place could boast even a donkey!

That's me on the left, Judas Rimmer. Handsome and available! In fact that's why we've moved here. My over availability when it comes to the ladies. Things became difficult in the old place; I couldn't leave the house without getting slapped by some disgruntled former lover. Then there were the knocked over trash cans, hate mail, flaming bags of poo, and cockroaches. I wasn't so worried, but Arlene my daughter nearly died from a sickness she caught from the bugs. That's when I said 'enough is enough'. Arlene is the light of my life, although I'm not sure who her Mother is. My mother woke me one morning to say there was a baby left on the doorstep. Apparently one of my former conquests decided now was not the time for her to be bringing up a child. And she thought I'd make a good parent? The parents have helped a lot, I don't know how I would have coped if it wasn't for them.

Anyway, before we go any further I want to get something straight! I've read Samantha Lister's account of her first week in Prosperton, and it was me that had the 'senior moments'. And I have the photo's to prove it. I know that a gentleman's not supposed to 'kiss and tell', but with a name like Judas, do you really think that I abide by any etiquette or unwritten rules! It's amazing, one minute she's hopping into bed with me, the next that Tabby fellow shows up, and it's "I'm sorry Judas, but we can't continue our relationship, it was a mad moment of lust, but now I'm in love." She's even stopped returning my calls, but she's a notch on my bedpost, whether she wants to be or not!

This is the nearest thing to fun in this place? A game of 'catch' in the garden? I'm already beginning to hear the call of the bright lights of downtown!

These are my parents. Both failures in their own way. Dad is nowhere near to maxing his skills, and my Mum is the most inept 'romance' sim I've ever met. I'm almost ashamed of her. I don't understand how she has the nerve to call herself a romantic, she's never even made out with a man. Other than Dad, and he hardly counts!

See what I mean? Way to go Dad! If there's a right way, and a wrong way, he'll confidently head up the blind alley without a thought!

Not that I can talk, I was fired after this chance card, and it was my dream to become a Hall of Famer. I took a job in the adventuring field next. What lady can resist a 'Dread Pirate'? Well it seemed to work for Johnny Depp, and I'm equally as good looking!

It was particularly galling to be fired on a day when both Dad and Arlene managed to get promotions! Always remember the wheel of fortune Judas, that's what I tell myself. Things always have a habit of swinging full circle.

Mum's taken up fishing! Quite right too. She has little else to do with her time. I've told her to start working on her cooking skills, as Arlene isn't going to be in public school forever. I have high hopes of getting her into Private School, and want to ask the Headmaster over as soon as possible. Mum's 2 cooking skill points don't seem adequate for the job, so she'd best start reading up. What else is there to do all day while the rest of us are out the house?

What's with the fishing in your pants guys? Get dressed the pair of you. God, elderly relatives can be so embarrassing sometimes. I hope you're going to dress for the Headmaster, or I really won't be impressed. Neither will he, probably! I'm sure my Mother's pantyhose is not something many men would find attractive!

Oh well, if you can't beat them, join them. Well done on your A+ Arlene! Just let me put down my rod so I can 'yip, yip, yip' properly!

Well, the wheel revolved, and poor Arlene was struck by lightening running from the school bus to get the 'phone. It's a good job she was healthy, and in the green, because it could have killed her! She's a lucky girl, that's the second time her life's been in danger; but she's a fighter, and always pulls through.

Before any of you think me a right b*****d, I did not make her go to work after being struck by lightening! She insisted. I told you she was lucky, she even got promoted, and reached the top of her career field. It's unbelievable when you consider the colour of her plumbob!

The following night Arlene got into Private School! Apparently the Headmaster liked my Mother's pants, and left with a huge grin on his face. Sims in this town really need to get out more if they find my Mother's pants amusing!

Arlene leaves for school wearing her new uniform, which really suits her. I'm trying to figure out some advanced mechanics for my job promotion, Dad's decided to get fit (Jeez only knows why? The man's an enigma, and a mystery to his relatives), while Mum does the usual, and lounges on the sofa. With the pond frozen over, and her Headmaster obligation fulfilled, I'm starting to think she's losing the will to go on.

At least the place is looking a little more homely. The council have done a little landscaping; planted a few trees. If I could just find some women under the age of 70, the place might even turn out to be fun. Next week I'm going to start looking for some female companionship. Let the hunt begin, as they say!